Jokes
The following items were put on the net as Jokes or satires, but, again, some people have been fooled by them.
Picture Through Your Monitor Joke  Launch Nuclear Strike Now Joke	Bonsai Kittens Joke  FBI Case Search Site  Rabies In The Air Warning

Picture Through Your Monitor Joke

The following joke would have you believe that you can take a picture with your computer monitor. 
DUH! It is called a monitor for a reason. The website actually exists and gives you the picture 
you deserve for believing this. Note that the Magic Camera has moved to http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/3072/camera1.html. Check it out for yourself. 

This is scary. See where technology is taking us now.
     
Go to http://sites.netscape.net/zumaltsp/camera1.html and get a 
picture of yourself right through your monitor. This is Big Brother 
at its best or worst.  Imagine what they have already seen.....
     
Microsoft  has developed this technology that dot dithers your screen 
to act as a camera receptacle. As you will see, the beta web site 
captures your image just as if you had the computer connected to a 
video cam. This technology may have been around for months and 
installed on web sites without our knowledge or permission. If so, 
those web sites are capturing images of you unaware as you view 
your monitor.
   

Launch Nuclear Strike Now Joke

This message gives a new meaning to vaporware. Maybe this could be a new, fast erase function 
for a hard drive. Just push the button, flash - bang, and the drive is erased. Of course there is the 
problem that you just erased a whole city block along with your drive. 

Hi guys. I just got this in the mail, from Symantec, so I thought 
I'd forward it along. It's a new virus that we should watch out for. 
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Virus Update, 1/22/00

Symantec Virus Alert Center

Hello Subscriber,

As part of our ongoing effort to keep Symantec clients up to date 
on virus alerts, this e-mail is being sent to all Symantec subscribers. 
A new, deadly type of virus has been detected in the wild. You should 
not open any message entitled "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW", 
as this message has been programmed to access NORAD computers in Colorado 
and launch a full-scale nuclear strike on Russia and the former Soviet 
states. Apparently, a disgruntled ex-Communist hacker has designed a 
pernicious VBScript that actually bypasses the U.S. arsenal's significant 
security system and takes command of missiles and bombers directly. By 
opening the e-mail, you may be causing Armageddon. Needless to say, 
Armageddon will wipe out your hard drive and damage your computer.

Again, we warn you, PLEASE, DO NOT OPEN ANY E-MAIL ENTITLED 
"LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW". YOU MAY CAUSE A FULL-SCALE 
NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.

As a precaution, all U.S. nuclear missiles have been set to 
"Do Not Authorize Launch Via E-Mail" to prevent an accidental 
armageddon. However, due to a Y2K bug, the possibility still exists 
that you may end life as we know it on this planet by opening the 
aforementioned e-mail.

VIRUS NAME: ArmaGeddyLee, HappyOrMaybeNot00, OopsWrongButton00
TRANSMITTAL METHOD: VBScript attached to e-mail
HAZARD: Extremely Super High
AREA OF INFECTION: Detected in wild
CHARACTERISTICS: Destroys life on earth via nuclear armageddon

Please forward this warning to everyone you can. Thank you for your 
attention to this matter,

Sincerely,

The Symantec Anti-Virus Team

Bonsai Kittens Joke

Bonsai Kittens??? It's a joke son!!! Someone saw this joke site, thought it was real, and started 
circulating an Internet petition. While the cats in the pictures don't look too happy being stuffed 
into jars to have their pictures taken I have seen cats climb into jars and other small places like 
that all on their own. Besides that, an Internet petition has no validity whatsoever and is a waste 
to pass around. 

To anyone with love and respect for life:

In New York there is a Japanese who sells "bonsai-kittens". 
Sounds like fun huh? NOT! These animals are squeezed into a bottle. 
Their urine and faeces are removed through probes. They feed them 
with a kind of tube. They feed them chemicals to keep their bones 
soft and flexible so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle. 
The animals will stay their as long as they live. They can't walk 
or move or wash themselves. Bonsai-kittens are becoming a fashion 
in New York and Asia. See this horror at: http://www.bonsaikitten.com

Please sign this email in protest against these tortures. If you 
receive an email with over 500 names, please send a copy to: 
xxxxxx@hotmail.com 

From there this protest will be sent to USA and Mexican animal 
protection organizations. If you send this to your friends: Use the 
copy & paste method in an NEW email to keep this readable....

FBI Case Search Site

This official looking site is supposed to look up your records at the FBI. Check out the picture. 
Recognize that person? 

Subject: This real! I checked with our Police before doing it!

You can check to see if the FBI has ever had a file on you.
I was shocked to see that there was a file on me!!!
Just double-click on the site and put in the state in which
you were born and your name, You don't have to use your Social
Security Number, just check "All States."
If more than one match is found they will
ask for a year of birth to narrow the search. You will get
the case number, date of investigation and any photos on
file. It's a free site, but I'm told it will be closed soon due to
a federal court order.  Here's the site:


http://www.policeguide.com/cgi-bin/criminal-search

Rabies In The Air Warning

This one is too stupid to be anything but a joke. 

EMERGENCY: EVERYONE IS NOW FORBIDDEN OUTSIDE DUE TO THE
LATEST FORM OF RABIES WHICH IS TRANSMITTED THROUGH WHAT
SOME PEOPLE REFER TO AS "THAT NICE COUNTRY BREEZE" OR
"FRESH AIR". IF YOU BREATHE THE CONTAMINATED AIR IN
WHICH THE DISEASE RESDIDES, YOU WILL CONTRACT AN
UNTREATABLE FORM OF RABIES THAT CAN BE SPREAD EVEN
THROUGH SHAKING HANDS. 
HOW TO RECOGNIZE CONTAMINATED AIR: IT WILL HAVE A
FRESH, MINTY SCENT AND WILL LOOK LIKE A SMALL WISP OF
FOG.
GERMS FROM THESE WISPS HAVE BEEN TESTED BY ONE
SCIENTIST, DR. JONATHAN HAMBEL, AND, THOUGH HE
CONTRACTED THE VIRUS AND DIED, HIS NOTES HAD HIS THEORY
OF WHERE IT CAME FROM.
"THE FOG-LIKE WISPS HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN MANY SHAPES,
BUT THE MOST COMMON IS A VAGUELY DISTINGUISHABLE
EGG-SHAPED CLOUD OF WHAT APPEARS TO LOOK LIKE FOG."
SCRIBBLED ON A POST-IT NOTE THAT WAS FOUND IN HIS
POCKET WHILE HE DIED EN-ROUTE TO HIS LAB WERE THE
WORDS, "EGG FOG CAME FROM BERMUDA  TRIANGLE". MANY
PLANES, UPON HAVING FLOWN INTO AN EGG-SHAPED CLOUD IN
THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE, HAVE MYSTERIOUSLY DIASAPPEARED.
IT IS BELIEVED THAT THESE CLOUDS HAVE CARRIED A DUST
GERM FROM AFRICA, AND, WHEN MIXED WITH THESE STRANGE
BERMUDA TRIANGLE EGG CLOUDS, ARE CAPABLE OF KILLING
SOMEONE VERY SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY IN LESS THAN 24
HOURS. PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS:
1. TRY NOT TO GO OUTSIDE, BUT WHEN YOU MUST, WEA A MASK
2. WARN EVERYONE OF THIS DISEASE VIA ANY WAY OF MEDIA
3. DO NOT WALK INTO AN EGG-SHAPED CLOUD OF FOG AND
BREATHE DEEPLY